I spent a lot of time watching TV this week and noticed that we talk a lot about brands these days. During the CBS coverage of the PGA tour this weekend, we got to view super slow-motion golf swing footage compliments of the “Konica Minolta BizHub Swing Vision Camera.” CompUSA probably doesn’t sell that one.

But what’s worse is we’re actually using the word “brand” as if it’s something you hear in every day language. This is the arrogance of marketeurs.

While the Boston Red Sox were beating up the Atlanta Braves, the announcers noted an enormous number of Red Sox fans in the audience. “What a powerful brand they have,” said one guy. I almost spewed. It’s a bloody baseball team, you idiot!

How about these beauties from commercials I’ve seen this week?

“Tee off with the brands you want from Academy Sports.”

“Watch your favorite Wrigley’s brands tear up the track this weekend.” (I kid you not!)

Of course, the marketeurs can bring themselves to use the word, because we — the targets of those brands — are CONSUMERS of brands (that’s what they’re taught in the good schools). We have no other purpose in life. Consumers are passive participants in this “targeting” process, and Madison Avenue now doesn’t even think it has to be clever. All it has to do to put us in our place is toss out the word “brand,” and we’re supposed to behave like we know what that really means.

“Brand” is apparently a substitute noun, and, well, it seems to works everywhere.

Let’s go down to the old brand and suck down a few brands. Man, that chick’s wearing my favorite brand. Mmm, that smells like her best brand. Oh my, that brand is something else. Give me a pack of my brand. What’s YOUR brand, man? Hey, what do you think of my new brand? Is that your brand in your pocket or mine?

I’m going to drive my brand to get some brands from a brand with lots of brands, wrap myself in one or three brands, put a brand on my wrist, in my mouth, over my ears, on my head, and settle down for a nice quiet evening with branded entertainment while filling my head with unwanted messages from a hundred other brands.

Gosh, I’m tired.

This entry was posted on Sunday, June 24th, 2007 at 6:11 pm and is filed under Advertising, Culture. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.