LifeSlices: Just say “no”
I was awakened at 4:30 this morning to the sound of my cellphone going off. This, I might add, is unusual. I rolled over and answered the thing, only to be greeted my the nice feminine voice of the American Airlines computer telling me my 8 a.m. flight to Shreveport had been canceled. Not to worry. The machine told me they’d confirmed me on the 9 a.m. flight, and if I wanted to accept, I should say “yes.”
The extra hour of sleep would’ve been nice, but when I’m awake, I’m awake, I tossed a bit but eventually got ready for my trip.
At the airport, I got some Starbucks and went to the gate, then proceeded to seat 14A on one of those little jets. I got out some papers to read, put them and my coffee on the tray in front of me, and settled in for the flight. Then came the giant man in seat 13A, who plopped himself down like a giant wrecking ball, bouncing everything on my tray table and spilling coffee all over my pants. He apologized. The nice flight attendant brought towels. My butt was soaked.
I moved to to 14B.
They counted everybody and closed the door, and the captain hit the ignition switch. The cabin began to smell like a furnace that hadn’t been turned on all year, and soon we had a little smoke problem. They isolated it to a faulty air conditioner pack just before we would’ve had to evacuate. We “exited the aircraft” and waited to see what American would do. My butt was still soaked.
They located a new jet and moved us to a new gate. We boarded. However, some of the people had slipped away (perhaps unnerved by the smoke), so there was a manifest problem. And every experienced traveler knows you don’t leave with a manifest problem. They counted us. They counted us again.
We took off and landed in Shreveport only to discover that “our gate” wasn’t available, so we waited 10 minutes for the gooney bird to depart, leaving the gate to us.
I got to my client a little late, and I’m now writing this from my hotel. The scent of caramel macchiato is emanating from my underwear.
I should’ve just said no.
December 11th, 2007 at 7:25 pm
To those who say there’s nothing new under the sun, I submit your penultimate sentence. “The scent of caramel macchiato is emanating from my underwear” is something I’ve never before read, or even thought.
Heh. Nice post.
December 12th, 2007 at 1:42 pm
yes, i’ve had the cabin of a plane i was seated in fill with smoke before.
the scent emanating from my shorts afterward was not of caramel though.
you seem to have all the luck.
December 14th, 2007 at 10:21 am
I just googled that phrase, and can confirm that it appears nowhere else in the universe.
December 14th, 2007 at 10:42 am
Well, I guess you won’t be ordering the Caramel Macchiato at the next Blogger Meet Up, huh?
Usually, I’d say “thanks for the chuckle” but I’m not sure it’s appropriate in this case. Then again, I just wrote it so…oh well!
Hope your flight back is MUCH more comfortable.
December 16th, 2007 at 2:02 pm
Sounds like you need new underwear!
December 18th, 2007 at 9:01 am
heaheaehheah thanks for the chuckle, Terry.
I hope your next travelling adventure is not such a fiasco!